Planning

I'm not one for planning my days. I've always been one to take the days, one at a time, going with the feeling of a moment. At least this is what I try to do. Yes, there are times when things such as appointments and work schedules have to have plans and sometimes, tight schedules and deadlines to meet. On my own time, when I don't have to be at an appointment, or an event, or at work, there is nothing that I appreciate more to feel the true sense of a day as my own, as not  having to live it on a timeline. Sometimes, this is impossible. Sometimes when my weekend off from work has been filled with certain events that caused for being on time to something, it can give me mixed feelings when its over. I feel that even though I may have enjoyed the event, my time "off" to have my own time, is over.

I'm not one to ever feel bored. I enjoy my life, my home, my "things". I have my own interests, even if they don't seem like much excitment to another, to me they fill me. Work takes a big chunk of time through the week. I'm busy and the days usually fly by. After work, there is no place I'd rather be than home. My home is more enjoyable to me than any other form of entertainment. Its the one place that I feel I can breath easy, that I feel at peace, that I am in comfort, and that I make my own time. It is at home that I have all I need or want, including things to do. I enjoy cooking on the weekends or on days that I'm not working. I enjoy watching my shows, even though I'm not a huge television fan. I enjoy scrapbooking, making pictures, being on the computer. I enjoy my family, and I love my grandchildren and their visits. I love having my Noah over night and visiting. I love a good movie or book. I love coloring posters; the more complicated the better. I love flowers and my gardens. I love decorating and even cleaning my home when I can go through it at an easy pace. I love to write and create. I have never been bored even at home.

Well now I face a challenge before me. "Having" to be at home because I'm laid up for a few months. I am now trying to prepare for this not only with my husband and my home; getting ready the necessary things I will need in order to do the simplest, like take a shower and wash my hair. I'm trying to prepare for the burden of not being able to walk on my own for at least 3 months. My surgery is scheduled for June 28, 2012. I dread it yet want it over with as soon as possible, just so I can get on with the recovery. Right now, It hangs over my head. I look up on the internest and read about it. It seems to make me even more nervous, however reading about it has given me some ideas and thats what brought me to this blog once again. I've read many other's "journel" of this procedure and of their recovery process. Where this is something that I am going to be able to do; write, and this is a place, this blog, that has brought me peace of mind so many times by writing in it, here I come. I'm going to keep a journal of this procedure. Hopefully, some day I will look back and see what I have accomplished.

Since the surgery was discussed and decided upon, I have waves of nervousness inside me. Surprisingly, I have also not been able to sleep late in the morning either. Whether working or not, I'm awake and ready to get up way before the alarm goes off. I've never had surgery before, and I've never been unable to walk on my own or do the things I want to do, on my own. Don offered to move my bedroom down stairs in the dining room for the next however long months. I'm stubborn. I will try the stairs to get to my bedroom even if I crawl up them and slide down them on my butt. I thought perhaps I should get a second pair of crutches to keep upstairs and one for down stairs, as I won't be able to pull them up and down with me. I ordered a shower chair today. It will come in next week and Don is installing a shower head with hand held sprayer. It will be months before I can bring my foot into the water. I also want to get a couple of counter stools/chairs for the kitchen, so I can work at the counter without having to stand with crutches under my arms.

I've been preparing the paperwork that was sent to me in the mail by my doctor. I feel a bit overwhelmed with upcoming appointments next week and having to leave work to go to them and then return to work again. Though I have them all written down, there is alot to remember even now.

So, in the Beauty of Life, I will move ahead and part of my healing process will be to write it all  here. Part of it will also be what helps me not go crazy, and the things I find to keep me busy. The simpliest things that I have always taken for granted; how I am able to work around them all.