March 25, 2012

Its been awhile since I've written on here but its not because I have not wanted to. I have thought many times that I want to come here and write, but just did not take the time to do so. What has run through my mind so many times that I wanted to come here and write about is what a wonderful family that I have. Believe me, I often think of exactly that. Those that fill my life really, and I do think about that with gratefulness, daily. Today is the 6th anniversary of my mother's passing. Today, I have come here to write on my family. I have thought of my mother alot lately. This is the time of year that my ordered daffodills came in and the pussy willows in my mother's memory garden have blossomed. Rather than sadness, things such as that bring a different kind of meaning to me, one of closeness now. Maybe that is why that recently I have been feeling a special kind of inner gratitude to having such a special family, as I have been privileged to have.

I still think of my mother in the way of wondering what she might think about different situations. I always would ask her what she thought of this or that. In my mind, I still do. It can be the simpliest thing, such as wondering what she would of thought of this early warmth we have had this March. It has felt like June rather than March. I have wondered lots on what she would be thinking about the world's state at this time as that was something we often talked about. I also wonder how'd she react to Noah, because I know that she would of found him as adorable as we all do. I wonder what she would of thought of how big Kelsey and Ashley are now. I wonder many things.

Moreso though, I can sit in the quietness of a day and just appreciate the family that I've been blessed to have. I often think of how fortunate I am to have two wonderful son-in-laws. This has doubled the joys of my two daughters, as they have brought into our family two wonderful sons to me, also. They are wonderful Dads. All that really matters to me, surrounds me. Many things have changed over the years, over the past 6 years since my mother was here with us. Some things have been wonderful changes, and some things not so wonderful changes, but life goes on and it is what it is. I still am very grateful for all that I have in my life.

Though my Mother is not here to share in it, she is, because to me, she is everywhere and a part of everything. She is a part of us all and I see her in each one of us, at different times. I often think also on how she always feared that my sister and brother and I might have our differences and part. I know that is always a fear of a mother as we want ours to always be there for one another. I have found over time that we haven't found differences, but alikeness more and more. We have become closer over time. As it should be. I often just stop and think to myself, "its the three of us". And then, I think of us all and its many of us, holding together, and sharing our lives. Family.

I miss you Ma and love you dearly.