Mother's Day, We remembered....

Yesterday was Mother's Day. Our second one since you've gone. March 25th has come and gone, the first anniversary of your passing...and this, the second Mother's Day for us to go through after our loss. My sister asked me not too long ago this question, "How do you cope?" I've tried to answer her in words I've written, but I kept finding myself deleting it and starting again. Sometimes, just to describe how one copes, is too difficult to do. Too difficult to express in words. It can seem overwhelming to just think on how one does cope in order to answer that question. Though, I do believe now in just looking back at yesterday, Mother's Day, that I finally have an answer for my sister. How do I cope? By getting through one thing at a time. Not looking back, not looking ahead but just looking at what there is in this day, or in this moment that I need to get through and then I look at how I can and will do that. Sometimes there are no easy answers and then other times, there are many choices. I think what I've learned in this Mother's Day, was that coping has alot to do with attitude also. Of course, on this Mother's Day, it was my Mother whom was on my mind. There were a few moments yesterday that I cried. Mainly when I was driving, and a song would come on and I'd think back. Why would I not cry? It is Mother's Day and I miss my mother. I miss her every day and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I miss her. But how do I cope with that loss and those feelings, when I feel at times so powerless because there just isn't anything I can do to bring her back. Yesterday, Mother's Day, yes there were times of tears. Tears are coping. But the day was not all tears. Infact, It was a most enjoyable day. The sun was out, the sky blue. There was a nice breeze. A true spring day. I got into my car and drove to the garden store to buy a gift for my Mother's garden in my yard. What I had been looking for, I finally found, and there was only one in the store. A Butterfly House. I also bought bird seed, a bird feeder, a garden plaque and some boxes of pansy. I really enjoyed looking around and finding things that I consider special because they are for my Mother's garden. I then went over my sister's and brought her a gift. Later in the day, I planted the flowers, and arranged some of the items in the garden. My girl's came over, my granddaughters and my sister and we had a cookout. The day was not a day spent in tears, but in enjoyment also. And now, the day has come and gone. Today, I walked down to the garden and looked at the growth which is a little more each day. It was just a good feeling to be there and I did reflect back on yesterday with no regrets. And thats how I cope. Taking each holiday, celebration, a day or a moment for what it can become now. I guess the attitude part of coping is, wanting to make what it becomes now, good. And to my sister, who asked me this question of "how do you cope", my guess is that you too coped this Mother's Day the same way I did, and maybe each and every day.