Our Family is a circle of strength and love.With every birth and every union, the circle grows.
Every joy shared adds more love. Every crisis faced
together makes the circle stronger.
Author Unknown
Sunday, August 19, 2007
With Sadness, I write....
On Wednesday, August 15, 2007, Mary Jane passed away. It was expected as she has been ill for so long in her battle against cancer for the past 5 years. Though, as with all losses, expected or not, there comes grief and sorrow. Mary Jane was not of my blood, but she was the youngest sister of my brother-in-law. She was my sister's sister-in-law. She was my niece's aunt. I knew Mary Jane, though I had not seen her for many years, I remember her well. She was a beautiful, young lady, as I remember her, with the largest blue eyes and a most pretty face. She was very nice and I always remember enjoying her when I did see her. She was 55 when diagnosed with this cancer. She was young, much too young. Mary Jane had many struggles in her life, and she was strong.
The words below were wrtten to me, by Kim, just two hours before Mary Jane's passing. She asked for her writing to go onto our site. It seems that through our writings and expression of thought and feelings that we heal greater. And it seems too, that by doing so and posting here, that we realize we are never alone. In Kim's wish for her thoughts and feelings to be posted, it can only be seen as an unselfish form of love, for even in her own sadness one can give of by sharing their most vulnerable of all emotions to others. This site is our's. It is of a family that comes together in their joys and sadnesses, and in the name of this site, the beauty of life in all things, whether we understand or not.
Kim Writes:
Date: 8/15/2007 8:06:16 PM
To: Opal
Been thinking of my Aunt all week; but I usually did quite often.
Ever complain about the little things in life? We all do. It’s normal. But when you see someone else go thru MUCH worse than anyone you know, or ever knew, it sort of breaks your heart.
My Aunt has cancer, and has been battling for about 5 years. I saw her this past mother’s day. It was hard; as I had a feeling it would be the last time I would see her. Her best friend Rita brought her to NH, from Florida. It was a nice visit. All her favorite food, my dad prepared.
My dad is her brother, and they are close to one another. I called my aunt a while ago… she was stronger than I was. Go figure. I’m crying, and she is the one battling a horrible thing…. We ended the conversation quickly, but the next call I made, was better. I was stronger, and we had some good laughs. It was a good talk.
She has gone “down hill” the past few weeks. Now she is on morphine and oxygen. Now that I know the end is near, it is still hard. She’s had more than this to battle with; more than any person should go through. I won’t put everything she has gone through; as it’s pretty hard to write.
She was so strong during her hard times; stronger than I would ever be. Maybe I’ll see her again some day… who knows what really happens. At least she is not in pain. I hope her and nana (both nanas) will all be playing Bingo sometime together…. Where ever they may go. I’ll miss you.
Love, Kim
My sympathy to You; Jack, Barb, Kim, John, and to all who loved and knew her. May she be at peace now and with those whom she had known and loved.
The words below were wrtten to me, by Kim, just two hours before Mary Jane's passing. She asked for her writing to go onto our site. It seems that through our writings and expression of thought and feelings that we heal greater. And it seems too, that by doing so and posting here, that we realize we are never alone. In Kim's wish for her thoughts and feelings to be posted, it can only be seen as an unselfish form of love, for even in her own sadness one can give of by sharing their most vulnerable of all emotions to others. This site is our's. It is of a family that comes together in their joys and sadnesses, and in the name of this site, the beauty of life in all things, whether we understand or not.
Kim Writes:
Date: 8/15/2007 8:06:16 PM
To: Opal
Been thinking of my Aunt all week; but I usually did quite often.
Ever complain about the little things in life? We all do. It’s normal. But when you see someone else go thru MUCH worse than anyone you know, or ever knew, it sort of breaks your heart.
My Aunt has cancer, and has been battling for about 5 years. I saw her this past mother’s day. It was hard; as I had a feeling it would be the last time I would see her. Her best friend Rita brought her to NH, from Florida. It was a nice visit. All her favorite food, my dad prepared.
My dad is her brother, and they are close to one another. I called my aunt a while ago… she was stronger than I was. Go figure. I’m crying, and she is the one battling a horrible thing…. We ended the conversation quickly, but the next call I made, was better. I was stronger, and we had some good laughs. It was a good talk.
She has gone “down hill” the past few weeks. Now she is on morphine and oxygen. Now that I know the end is near, it is still hard. She’s had more than this to battle with; more than any person should go through. I won’t put everything she has gone through; as it’s pretty hard to write.
She was so strong during her hard times; stronger than I would ever be. Maybe I’ll see her again some day… who knows what really happens. At least she is not in pain. I hope her and nana (both nanas) will all be playing Bingo sometime together…. Where ever they may go. I’ll miss you.
Love, Kim
My sympathy to You; Jack, Barb, Kim, John, and to all who loved and knew her. May she be at peace now and with those whom she had known and loved.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Waking up........
Well, its been awhile, once again. I just seem to be waking up from quite awhile in a fog. I've had my share of health issues of late and trying to correct them....which, finally I think I'm on the mend. Never realized how much having no sleep for a long period of time, and I do mean a long period of time, like a couple of years, would take its toll. I knew there was a problem in this department, called "sleep" and I knew I needed to look into it. I did make an appointment prior the loss of my mother, to begin the process of seeking some help but I ended up cancelling it. "Too busy" I told myself then. Plus the forms to fill out to explain symptoms was pages and pages long. I didn't have (take) the time to do what I really needed to do then. So, I went on. I tried to tell myself that I could get use to not having many hours sleep at night. After all, there were many people that required not much sleep. But, I dragged more and more, a slow decline. I knew it too.
After the loss of my mother, I thought that I could never ever go for help now with this problem of mine. Surely, they'd want me to use one of those cpap machines. I couldn't handle the thoughts of it. So, I shut up, and again, tried to just accept that I, no longer really slept. I'd catch a nap any chance I could. Constantly trying to get a few winks here and there. I never felt good. Something was really wrong and I knew it inside, I just couldn't deal with it's treatment and the time needed to get it. I knew it was affecting my heart, amoung other things. But then I started falling asleep driving to work in the morning, hardly able to keep my eyes open, let alone when driving home late afternoons. My mind was forgetting things at work and I could no longer focus for much time at all. I knew it was getting worse.
Finally, I went and did was I needed to. Finally. Actually I was quite desperate for the help now, Very desperate infact. No wonder I've been in lala land for so long, because through all the tests, I really was not getting any sleep. I'd strop breathing 54 times per hour for the four hours that I'd manage to drift into some sleep. So, there was none..sleep, that is. The stress on my heart and lack of oxygen when I'd stop breathing had worn me out pretty bad.
Treatment has begun. Well actually, I started it about maybe three weeks ago and finally..FINALLY, I am feeling as though I am coming out of a fog and its unbelieveable. Every day, I just cannot believe how better and better I am feeling. My mind is awake and alert and actually focusing, which is something I guess that I have not done very well for a long time because it feels like something totally new. Amazing so! I am told that it will still take a few months to feel full effects, but I'd take where I am at right now and be happy, if it were all the improvement there was to be.
Its been a long haul. I have absolutely no regrets finally getting this resolved.
Now for Barb to get that foot of her's healed, a small break in a bone that seems to be taking forever to heal, and she and I will be on the road again! We're in the makings of our next trip. In the fall of course when everyone else's vacations are over. ( Its the worse broken foot she's ever had before! And its been the worse sleepless past two years ever for me! ...Private joke between Barb and I lol)
So, stay tuned! And beware...I just woke up!
After the loss of my mother, I thought that I could never ever go for help now with this problem of mine. Surely, they'd want me to use one of those cpap machines. I couldn't handle the thoughts of it. So, I shut up, and again, tried to just accept that I, no longer really slept. I'd catch a nap any chance I could. Constantly trying to get a few winks here and there. I never felt good. Something was really wrong and I knew it inside, I just couldn't deal with it's treatment and the time needed to get it. I knew it was affecting my heart, amoung other things. But then I started falling asleep driving to work in the morning, hardly able to keep my eyes open, let alone when driving home late afternoons. My mind was forgetting things at work and I could no longer focus for much time at all. I knew it was getting worse.
Finally, I went and did was I needed to. Finally. Actually I was quite desperate for the help now, Very desperate infact. No wonder I've been in lala land for so long, because through all the tests, I really was not getting any sleep. I'd strop breathing 54 times per hour for the four hours that I'd manage to drift into some sleep. So, there was none..sleep, that is. The stress on my heart and lack of oxygen when I'd stop breathing had worn me out pretty bad.
Treatment has begun. Well actually, I started it about maybe three weeks ago and finally..FINALLY, I am feeling as though I am coming out of a fog and its unbelieveable. Every day, I just cannot believe how better and better I am feeling. My mind is awake and alert and actually focusing, which is something I guess that I have not done very well for a long time because it feels like something totally new. Amazing so! I am told that it will still take a few months to feel full effects, but I'd take where I am at right now and be happy, if it were all the improvement there was to be.
Its been a long haul. I have absolutely no regrets finally getting this resolved.
Now for Barb to get that foot of her's healed, a small break in a bone that seems to be taking forever to heal, and she and I will be on the road again! We're in the makings of our next trip. In the fall of course when everyone else's vacations are over. ( Its the worse broken foot she's ever had before! And its been the worse sleepless past two years ever for me! ...Private joke between Barb and I lol)
So, stay tuned! And beware...I just woke up!
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